Poison.

Look at me,
Portraying my own falsities upon your screens.
Fixating my own insecurities upon another.
Self loathing in order to please a impossible force.
You’ll never be happy, and nor will I.
So why are we both prolonging this tiredness?
To be kept by you is to be caged in my own mind,
Something I thought love would help me run away from.
If you believe in anything believe in love, that’s what they told me.
But I can’t even love myself.
Toxic spills lead my footsteps to you.
Two poisons can’t make a cure.

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MY BED.

I laid there fragile in the crisp white sheets,

They wrapped me like your arms,

Coveting my bruised heart.

And I’ll hang a veil over your twisted mind; while I pull your eyes shut.

Screaming for you to keep them closed.

I don’t want you to see me.

While you fuck me like you love me,

Kiss me like you hold your breath,

Carress my body like a lifetime,

Yet spit on me like poison.

I whisper for you to wrap your hands around my neck,

My back cracks while my stomach is drawn towards the celing,

Our lips touch its not just kissing, my whole body aches,

In this moment you are my centre,

The only thing that can iron my mind,

Smoothe out all the kicks,

But to you I am worthless,

Yet I’ll still let you rip at my skin,

Throw stones at my soul while they rattle inside me when my bed frame smashes against the wall.

I let you fuck me so I can fix myself.

 

 

Counting Sheep. (Love is eternal bleeding)

Count the men you’ve laid with,

Count the men that loved you,

Count the men you loved.

Let the lonely man hold your breast,

Let him bite your skin,

Lustful nightdreams filled with loveless sex.

Because love is eternal bleeding,

Each lover is a clot.

They can hold your wrists above your head and stop the bleeding while they fuck you,

But then they’ll let go,

Don’t let them look you in the eye while they soothe your senses.

Countless kisses.

Take his lip and bite it shut,

Lay with him like you love him,

Tell him he’s the best,

Entwine like star crossed lovers,

Bright militant like piercing through every crevice,

Complementing my shadows while I stand naked above him,

Touch him like it’s his last,

Stop the bleeding.

Then wait for him to go, he will,

Then turn your back and dissipate into a loveless mess.

Anything else is incredibly suffocating.

Custard Cream.

Am I split in two?

Or dissipated into three?

My mind, soul, body and me.

Separated and cloying.

Reeling and spoiling.

But I still canter here.

Amongst my own persons.

Transcendent lights blurring my sight.

And I’m sinking through my floorboards of my mind.

How can I move you when my tear bears no worth?

Im numb.

I must understand my limitations.

Homeless Cage.

I am not escaping anything.

I am not escaping anything unless I escape the walls my brain rattles in.

My mind is impossible to escape.

Prison.

Guarding my own thoughts from reeling free.

Smashing the ladders trailing up my arms.

Tears in my skin.

Can you feel this cold?

Rhyming Sucks.

A bag of bones,

And red astral stones.

Shading misfortunate clones.

Drowning beneath cloudless drones.

And can I breathe here?

Amongst the seasoned souls,

Or should I stay here?

And recover my own petrolled homes?

Flooding our freedom with washed up whales,

Cracking and crunching bellowed tails.

Stars full of moons and clouds full of light.

Emancipating yet we’re starting a endless fight.

I’m hungry and fading.

But the pain elsewhere needs changing.

You’re complaining and shaking…

I’ll leave you to carry your bag of bones…

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

It looks strange now doesn’t it?

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Maybe if you feel it enough it will blur.

The way the words do through your eyes.

Pain.

Pain.

It’s too detached.

It’s too penultimate.

It comes just before every end.